Why I left Facebook

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2013/05/28/everyone-hates-facebook-but-we-cant-leave/

As much as I adore staying connected with my far flung friends and family, I believe those relationships will survive offline.  There were several instances that brought me to my decision to leave. 

The harnessing of personal info is too much. A friend of mine took some kind of "what kind of person are you" quiz that analyzed every single post, like, group, page, pretty much everything she ever did on FB, tallied it all up, then analyzed the same usage for all of her friends and made comparisons. I had never elected to be part of the quiz, and yet there I was, presented in her data with my FB "personality" on display. It said I was "contentious" and "neurotic". 

I found that alarming. 

FB has a way of twisting the way you appear. Even if you want to celebrate the good things online, you come across as boastful. Or whiny and ungrateful in the opposite case. I like to keep things to myself. You want to see a picture of my kids? Too bad. Come look at them in person. Hang out with me in life. I found that the timesuck void of FB was actually making me feel more lonely instead of more connected. 

I find a lot of insincerity on FB. A lot of people like to ramble on about their perfect this and perfect that. We all know it's crap. Stop trying to impress everybody. Your kids have as many tantrums as everyone else's. Give me a break.

Then final straw was on a page dedicated to the memory of a deceased friend. All of these people had wished him Happy Birthday. Why? He's dead? They were doing it for themselves, clearly. But why? These are people who had not seen or spoken to my deceased friend in years, if not decades. One woman had actually reused to speak to my friend for several years because of an old feud. She refused to forgive him, would not attend his funeral, and was convinced he was going to hell for his lifestyle. And here she is on FB proclaiming her sadness and loss and wishing him happy birthday. I don't want to see it.

And then there's this: http://finance.yahoo.com/news/facebook-tinkers-users-emotions-news-010656869.html

So, you want to stay in touch, here I am!

MYTH vs. REALITY

MYTH vs. REALITY.  

I received this flyer in the mail from my phone company the other day:

1st thought: "Aw! Cute baby!"

2nd thought: "Whoa whoa wait hold up. LOOK at what is ACTUALLY going on in this picture.  

Let's analyze. 

The work at home do it all mom is both talking on the phone AND working on her laptop. She is apparently extremely efficient. Everyone looks pretty put together. Everyone is remarkably clean.  Baby is happily gazing at the laptop screen. Mom's hair is groomed nicely, not in the traditional frantic mom nasty oatmeal ponytail.

Now I realize in the world of marketing and advertising there are certain requirements to present a type of idealized version of reality in order to sell a product, but really, what is this image SAYING.  
It is a lie, of course. It presents an idealized fantasy. I like idealized fantasies. It's why I buy the September issue of Vogue every year. But I don't want to be subliminally made to feel that that is what my reality should aspire to be. 

And now some reality:

Much better. Insert yelling noises.

 I have never been able to sit at my laptop without sticky spitty jammy hands slathering goo on the keyboard. That's not to say I don't clean their hands - I do - constantly. Their little paws can't help but ooze sticky jamminess all the time. It is an as-of-yet uninvestigated phenomena of toddler sticky hand secretion.  

   I've not once had a phone conversation whilst baby and toddler played contentedly without vying for my attention...does that even happen? Which leads me to wonder...what is on the screen there? Is that baby playing with ABC Mouse? Isn't he/she a little young? Or is Mama demonstrating pie charts on powerpoint and doing fun math sums on her excel sheet? Is she in a phone conference with work? Or just begging her mother-in-law to come over and watch the baby while she goes to the gym for an hour? No she's definitely having some kind of high-powered conference call there. By her body language she's clearly cool, collected, in charge and certainly doesn't need to beg anyone for help.

Let's break it down even more. Let's think about all the folks who exist outside the frame to make this illusion possible. Lighting techs, producers, marketing directors, hair and makeup artists, photographers, production assistants, baby wranglers, the baby's actual parents who are probably just off-screen shaking toys around frantically to keep the kid happily distracted. 

It's all bunk and they know it! They just want to make you feel guilty and sell you shit. You open this mail and think, "WOW! Look how together she is! I should get that phone/laptop/ wifi plan and then I can run a business from home while having fun with my happy baby! Easy peasy! Sign me up, dude!"