MYTH vs. REALITY

MYTH vs. REALITY.  

I received this flyer in the mail from my phone company the other day:

1st thought: "Aw! Cute baby!"

2nd thought: "Whoa whoa wait hold up. LOOK at what is ACTUALLY going on in this picture.  

Let's analyze. 

The work at home do it all mom is both talking on the phone AND working on her laptop. She is apparently extremely efficient. Everyone looks pretty put together. Everyone is remarkably clean.  Baby is happily gazing at the laptop screen. Mom's hair is groomed nicely, not in the traditional frantic mom nasty oatmeal ponytail.

Now I realize in the world of marketing and advertising there are certain requirements to present a type of idealized version of reality in order to sell a product, but really, what is this image SAYING.  
It is a lie, of course. It presents an idealized fantasy. I like idealized fantasies. It's why I buy the September issue of Vogue every year. But I don't want to be subliminally made to feel that that is what my reality should aspire to be. 

And now some reality:

Much better. Insert yelling noises.

 I have never been able to sit at my laptop without sticky spitty jammy hands slathering goo on the keyboard. That's not to say I don't clean their hands - I do - constantly. Their little paws can't help but ooze sticky jamminess all the time. It is an as-of-yet uninvestigated phenomena of toddler sticky hand secretion.  

   I've not once had a phone conversation whilst baby and toddler played contentedly without vying for my attention...does that even happen? Which leads me to wonder...what is on the screen there? Is that baby playing with ABC Mouse? Isn't he/she a little young? Or is Mama demonstrating pie charts on powerpoint and doing fun math sums on her excel sheet? Is she in a phone conference with work? Or just begging her mother-in-law to come over and watch the baby while she goes to the gym for an hour? No she's definitely having some kind of high-powered conference call there. By her body language she's clearly cool, collected, in charge and certainly doesn't need to beg anyone for help.

Let's break it down even more. Let's think about all the folks who exist outside the frame to make this illusion possible. Lighting techs, producers, marketing directors, hair and makeup artists, photographers, production assistants, baby wranglers, the baby's actual parents who are probably just off-screen shaking toys around frantically to keep the kid happily distracted. 

It's all bunk and they know it! They just want to make you feel guilty and sell you shit. You open this mail and think, "WOW! Look how together she is! I should get that phone/laptop/ wifi plan and then I can run a business from home while having fun with my happy baby! Easy peasy! Sign me up, dude!"