Was That You on Project Runway?

Let's address the elephant in the room. Perhaps he exists only in my mind. 
Yep, that was me on Project Runway. A foray into the NYC fashion world. I am a lazy blogger. I will not give you what you want to know, only what I feel like writing about. I will add links here to the articles and blogs other people wrote. I will happily answer questions.

It was, in a word, uh-maziiiiiing! Thanks to all who had a hand in getting us there! And to Tim and Heidi, and Zac, of course, who were all very warm to us all. 

We were plucked, tweezed, buffed, polished, painted, dabbed, sprayed, trimmed, dyed and blow-dried. There was at any given point a team of professionals making us look camera ready at every moment. I will never long for the hair and makeup perfection of a celebrity because now I know that just off camera are are team - a TEAM of fluttering hair and makeup
specialists just twitching to reapply layers of powder, gloss, and hair spray, constantly & incessantly fluffing fluffing fluffing the hair. Shuushing, I believe, is the technical term.  



If Johnny Lavoy (who is an awesome sweetie by the way) wants to come to my house and do my hair before work, I would be happy to have him. It would be actually pretty awesome if a team of hair and makeup people just followed me around the Learning Commons for a day. Primping while I take attendance, reshelve books, etc. Until then, my brand new L'Oreal Wild Ombré is going back in the messy librarian chic knot. Sorry team. I'll take it out for special occasions like...going to Target. Ha!

*And let's just note here - if I even GET to go to Target alone for a half an hour, it IS a major event that I am thankful for. I'll take it!

Mint M&Ms and Grapefruit juice.

So, HERE'S a bad idea!

Context:
Sneakily and quietly prepping for a run whilst the household slumbers. Can't be banging around the kitchen making a healthful snack! No time! Too loud!


1. Fistful or two of mint M&Ms

2. Wash down sugary crap with nice, thick, cold  grapefruit juice. Nourishing! Refreshing!

3. Go for a run! Take of like a shot down the hill, around the corner, across the street and along the river. In 80+ degree whether. Run like the wind. Run like the dickens. 

aaaaand....HONK.

The Payoff: 2 miles in the most hideous & rank little burps will ensue. Minty Grapefruits? No. Bad.  Now struggle with post sugar crash empty tank for the remaining 2 suddenly sunny and hot miles. Blech.

Summary: Terrible Awful Gross 

Dr.Seuss Says it All

(from One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish)

Well, that didn't work. So much for the "cleaning fast". Yeah right.

The cleaning fast worked in theory only. I simply can't do it. I start twitching. Then there was a sticky spot on the floor. I can't just walk by that all night! 

Spent 2 hours folding laundry. 4 loads. It just HAD to be done. I watched Monsters Inside Me. It's a show about horribly devastating parasites and amoebas that can kill you. Did you know they have the Bubonic Plague in New Mexico ?!?!  I have lived in Colorado & loved it, (God Bless Manitou!) and I have been thru New Mexico several times, just for the record. But now, we will never travel there as a family. Sorry. In fact, all the horrors on the show seemed to come from the southwest. Must have been a southwest special. Finally finished at midnight, then LittleBoy woke me up at 5am for elbow-in-the-eye and ice-cold-feet snuggle fest. Then immediately after snuggling in and falling asleep again he screamed that he had to potty. I have never felt so much like an old horse.

Today I hope to run 4 miles. It is a beautiful, crisp New England day.

Just For Today...

 Just for Today I will not wipe, clean, sort, fold, wash, or otherwise make orderly. I will not sweep, swab, or swish away dirt. I will not tuck, tidy, or make neat. It will be hard, I will be straining to stop myself, but I MUST NOT GIVE IN! It must be done. I must draw in my notebook. I must have a creative outlet. I must loose myself in the music of the spheres and divine inspiration, even if only for the 5 extra minutes I get from not doing those things.

 I had a spectacular tantrum this morning due to excessive and relentless pre-coffee cleaning issues. I roared. It felt great.

Here's the story:  In the predawn hours, Little Boy had a timeout (I am skipping over a few details here, what prompted the timeout, etc) So he sat in the timeout rocking chair for the prescribed two minutes. I knew he had to pee but he refused to go before timeout so I sent Husband in to go check. Et vîola! LB peed all over his pants. Husband proceeded to clean him up and go about the day. 

However, in my prework scramble to get clothes, diapers, toys ready for a day G-ma's house, I came across a surprise! (And please no lectures about prepping the night before, it just didn't happen, ok?)

 A cascading torrent of urine, soaking the cushion, flowing onto the floor, puddles rivers and streams of it. How could he pee this much? Had he not gone in many days? I didn't understand, and in my pre-dawn pre-coffee pre-work mental fugue, I thought Husband had just intentionally left it all for me to clean. For me? On top of the mountains of urine soaked laundry, the mountains of clean and unfolded unsorted laundry, the grime on the floor, the sticky patch in the kitchen, the crumbs everywhere, the piddle in the bathroom, the moldy moldy mold everywhere.......
And so...I.Lost.My.Shit.

Let's just say, things flew around, boxes were kicked, a tantrum ensued.  LB looked on in awe and said in hushed tones, "Mummy - you craaanky." 

Yes sweetie, I am.