Our Boundaries, Our Eggshells

So, being that a certain member of my family is a toddler, we spend a lot of time discovering the boundaries of what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. 
On this particular day I was in the kitchen cooking and had a bunch of cracked eggshells in the trash. LittleBoy came up and started poking around in the trash, which I told him not to do. He then looked at me dead in the eye with a little smirk and wiggled one little finger around in the trash to test my response. 

I said, "LittleBoy, are you pushing your boundaries here?" He giggled and walked away for a bit.  
He quickly returned and started poking at the eggshells again. 
I said, "LittleBoy...What are you doing?"
He said, "Mummy - I want to touch my boundaries?"   
                                
                     Eggshells = Boundaries. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

High School Reunion Panic

I’d rather have a juicy bum than lung cancer!

Weekend run. The jiggling mass of my post-Halloween binge wags around in front of me despite layers of compression clothing.  I have never eaten this much candy before. We’ve never gone trick-or-treating before! Gross gross gross. It’s actually, probably really not that bad but I have a sugar hangover bloating and lethargy and am beating up on myself for over-indulgence. I typically don’t keep that shit in the house. The kids like sweets but they are not a part of our daily life. Thank goodness. I won’t have anymore now. Now it’s time to strip down, pair down, back to basics boot camp style for two weeks to tone up a bit for the...drumroll, please…..20 year High School Reunion! Scream!!! Oh my god!!! I bought a dress. It looks good. It’s going to look better after I start 5:30am yoga and carb aversion. Why do we do this? Because we do. I shouldn’t worry. I have spanx. But there it is. Two years, almost 3 now. Ok 2 years and 10 months after Anna and I have yet to lose that goddam last 10?15? lbs of baby weight. I know, I know, I complain and run and train and starve and overeat a megaton of candy, yes. All those things are true. But surely it’s got to be something much more exotic than impending middle age and a retarded metabolism. (And I mean that in the absolute literal sense of the word). Let me go over my mundane laundry list of activity: two sprint triathlons, a Spartan, a half-marathon, countless 5ks, zumba, walking, yardwork, housework, dancing and squats and crunches and nothing. Then I gave up. Then I was fine with it. Now I am playing into the typical American- woman-with-impending-high-school-reunion-hysteria-bullshit that I must immediately become 10 years younger and 20 lbs thinner.   I thought of all this and considered, “Should I start smoking again?”

via GIPHY

What a load of crap, I say. NEVER!!! I quit smoking! I’ll take the extra poundage and the juicy rump if it means I can run, sing, laugh and play year after year with my kids instead of huffing around, thinner yet wrinkled and stinking and suffocating, unable to breathe and wishing for the bajillionth time that I could give up smoking. I will nestle into my extra butt and congratulate myself on that, at least. And since, high school, that is truly one accomplishment I never thought I could achieve.  And the lack of wrinkles from quitting smoking is a bonus. And the fact that I RUN a 5k instead of SPENDING 5k on goddam ciggy butts.

HA-HA!!! Victory!

Triumph!

Success!

and….SPANX!!!

Why I Run

I haven't run for a while, cuz I straight up have not felt like it. I've had other things to do, house projects, yardwork, social obligations, etc. And I started getting this weird rapid heartbeat in the heat so I decided to embrace my lazy for a bit. (I am not actually lazy but absurdly unable to sit still ever.)

Well, last Saturday I FELT like it. Donned me running shoes and hit the road. And here's what I remembered about running:

1)  LOVE. I love love love to move my body because I can. I think of all the times I've been limited by injury or pregnancy or time constraints - they flash through my mind and my hearts swells with gratitude for the present moment. I see how this sounds a little too perfect (ooh - all my runs are so blissful. Yeah right. If they weren't slogfests all summer I wouldn't've taken a hiatus)  The weather was perfect. "It was a beautiful, crisp October day", which leads me to #2.

2) Living in New England in October and running along the Merrimack River is a miracle of existence and nature and a divine blessing of beauty. I know. That may be a bit much. But when those endorphins are cruising around and I think about all the places I've been that don't have autumn like we do, I am very grateful and appreciative of what we have. It's an anomaly. The water was like glass. It was perfectly chilly so running was just right. The older I get the more picky I can be about running temps. Too hot and I get the heart palpies. Too cold and my lungs hurt. This was Goldilocks'-3rd-bowl-of-oatmeal-jussssst-riiight.

3) I get to laugh at myself. I listen to Rocky's theme song and I am so ridiculous but it really pulls my shoulders back, head up, puts a spring in my step and a big ole goofy grin  across my face because I delight in nothing more so than my own silliness.